This is from an old Live Journal post I did in High School. It’s a mixture of free thought exercises and a free verse poem. I’ve trashed over 500 pages of written work that I did from the time I was 13 until about 23. That’s ten years gone! But I try not to regret my decision, it was a lesson learned as well as a symbolic expulsion of that difficult time in my life. Here is one of the few surviving pieces of that time… Let me know what you think! ^_^
[26 Dec 2002|09:33am]
I ran as fast as I could. The cold, wet tears shedding from God (God: the entire embodiment of humanity, not a sole being, but a concept of unity and intuition; that which is of every mind, body, spirit and that of which we do not know of every human being that ever existed, does exist and will exist) sting my eyes and soak my garments making my speed slower as my weight becomes heavier. All I am aware of is my heart beating like a drum being hit by an ecstatic child. All I am aware of is the pounding of my heavy, wet, slippery footsteps. All I am aware of is my breathing, my panting, my vain attempt at attaining oxygen for my survival on this harsh, unfair planet.
I slipped half-way down the hill, my body tumbling down the brown, black, green mush which stained my clothes. I held onto my talisman as I fell in fear that this ancient relic would be lost to an ignoramus. My head hit hard on the ground making the already dark world dimmer. I could not see for what felt like five minutes. I know it could not have been that long for if it was, I would not be here reflecting on the event. I heard his angry voice. I rapidly rose off of the ground and continued running.
All of my current life was taken by my wanting of this. My wanting of what is happening now was all I ever dreamed about. Now that it has finally come to pass, all my thoughts are encompassed with regret. There is no comfort in thinking about the past or the future. I need to survive in order to suffer and fight that suffering in order to realize that all my choices were for the greater good…and bad. I know I play some role in this game. I want to do my job well, and if that requires pain then I shall do it. It is my destiny. I have not a choice in everything I do and I know exactly what must be done.
Lightning strikes. I hope it killed him. From this frightened valley I can see I am coming closer to the woods. I take one look back, he is only feet away from capturing me…